


Venturing into The Emotional Cascade

by UnicornBliss



Series: Pentagon Oneshots [2]
Category: Pentagon (Korean Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Jinhui, M/M, Part 2, Shounen-ai, Side characters hongseok and edawn, Time Skips, extrovert hui, mute jinho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-26
Updated: 2017-03-26
Packaged: 2018-10-11 01:58:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10452411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UnicornBliss/pseuds/UnicornBliss
Summary: Jinho's emotions trouble him more as days pass and hwitaek's presence seems to only pacify him partially.





	

**Author's Note:**

> 1) this is part 2 of Baby Steps from the series of childhood au jinhui, only now they're a bit older  
> 2) i realized referring to hui as hwitaek is really awkward but it was too late to change it  
> 3) listen i love hongseok and there's more of him in the last part (3?4? who knows) so don't hate him here  
> 4) idk if you've read Of Mice & Men but i included the novel bc it was our assignment back when i was 15 too so  
> 5) i messed up with tenses, i allow you to attack me  
> Thanks for waiting!

They're both five years old and playing with sand while their mothers chatted on the laid mat by the beach. The sun is high up in the bright blue sky, scarce clouds floating around and barely clogging any sunlight from reaching their bodies. He sits in his baby blue trunks and pororo flip flops as hwitaek promised to build a large castle that fit the both of them.Occasionally, waves of lukewarm seawater would threaten to leave their shared castle into ruins and every time it almost happens, Jinho’s arms would flail in defiance. Hwitaek assures they're only teasing him and while Jinho knows it isn't the case, he doesn't argue against it. Sometimes all he had to do is trust his friend and right now, he had no reason not to.

 

“Ta-da!!” He yells suddenly, bouncing on his toes around the end result of his hard work, a castle made of sand and pebbles with their initials carved in the middle. Jinho brightens up at the sight, jolting up from his seat on the sandy ground to share hwitaek his happy moment. If he hadn't been void of voice, he'd be squealing loudly. Hwitaek knows somehow and for that, he cups Jinho’s face while catching his breath and says “I can almost hear you scream Jinho!!”

 

Jinho nods enthusiastically, grin wide from ear to ear while he held onto his friend dearly. He's confirming it with all his might and the look hwitaek gives him is of absolute satisfaction, that is until a loud crash of a wave startled them into backing away while their castle turned into deformed shapes of wet sand- short-lived euphoria melting away much like their deformed once-so-called castle. Jinho’s lips jut in a pout and he looks back at hwitaek only to find him copying his expression. It takes a few moments before they're both giggling at their luck, Jinho smiling widely as a cackling hwitaek threw his head to the back freely.

 

Such moments are the sole reason Jinho strives to achieve his best by fighting his disability. If speaking was a necessity, then interacting through actions was even more crucial to establish a strong bond. Or at least that's how his friend made it seem.

 

From a distance, the middle aged women eye them with love and compassion, hwitaek’s mother patting her friend’s hand and assuring it's all going the right way for her son, and her. Nothing of what she says seems to be a lie in Mrs.Jo’s eyes, she relents in relief.

 

\--

 

A skip into their lives and Jinho’s already packing for school, fifteen and capable enough of doing almost everything on his own including answering the door despite not heeding to any call of help- instincts is what he'd adapted to and right now, early busy morning and none around to do the job, he decides to open the door by himself. Hwitaek, unsurprisingly, beams at him from the doorstep, straps slung over his shoulders tightly and lips wide in an overly ecstatic grin. “Mornin’!”

 

Jinho winces at the loudness, though he does reciprocate by mouthing a ‘good morning’ as well. His mom comes rushing behind him, apron slightly wet from washing the dishes haphazardly and she sighs in relief upon witnessing the door already open for hwitaek, patting her son’s unkempt hair in gratitude and quite obviously, pride. She hadn't expected him to catch up on the simplest of tasks that would give her a hand. He nods back at her knowingly and she faces hwitaek with a warm smile, although a bit tired. “Good morning dear, I'm glad you're early. Jinho was getting bored waiting for you.”

 

“Ah, I figured. Always an early bird.” He chuckles glancing at jinho’s oblivious expression.

 

“I'm surprised he even answers the door now,” her hand slides down the cowlicks at the base of jinho’s skull and smoothes them down gently. “Such a good boy.”

 

“He is.” Hwitaek admits, tilting his face to make a funny face, earning a quiet laugh  from his friend who's been waiting for his attention. He'd realized the topic would be about him, it always is. “Let's go?”

 

Jinho nods, turning around to hug his mom quickly before storming out on eager tip toes, backpack slung on one shoulder while he slipped into his shoes. She waves them goodbye from the door, smiling when hwitaek’s hand took jinho’s to guide him through their walk to school. Jinho was definitely in safe hands.

 

\--

 

“Are you participating in the club activities?” Hongseok, a classmate of theirs asks when he finds them by the school’s premises. Jinho wanders around while getting used to the new atmosphere. Beginnings were scary if not for a nice, safe company- read: lee hwitaek. Said boy shrugs, not really excited for any particular club so far and wondering if Jinho felt the same. Jinho, who's been glancing at everything and anything, doesn't seem to share Hongseok’s excitement either, too preoccupied with blending in before anything. Hwitaek knows, and decides to inform Hongseok, president of the literature club, that they'd think about it in the coming days. He leaves them after a few words and Jinho relaxes visibly. Hwitaek laughs softly at that.

 

“I don't know why're you always tense around him, or anyone really.”

 

Jinho scrunches his nose, signing that he doesn't do well with socializing like Hwitaek. Not like his friend didn't know, but it seems that he needed to put emphasis every single time he was questioned. “You need more friends though.”

 

Jinho merely hugs hwitaek’s arm as a response, dragging him towards the library, his favorite place.

 

As much as Hwitaek loved jinho’s company, he understood that it wouldn't do him any better if he stuck around him only throughout his school life. Meeting new people and making friends was essential for building his personality, even a fifteen year old like him would know that. Jinho was stubborn and a little paranoid, but he’ll have to abide  to Hwitaek’s advice sooner or later. He's his only friend after all.

 

Peeking up from his book about marine life, he finds Jinho engrossed in a novel he’d picked after looking through various dusty shelves in the literature section. It could've been his favorite, but he wouldn't admit, clarifying that he just got bored of the encyclopedias at home (yes, if you're wondering Jinho does read encyclopedias for fun.). An imaginary light bulb suddenly appears in his head and he pats jinho’s hand for attention. Jinho furrows his brows, clearly not appreciating the interruption but heeding anyways.

 

“How about the literature club?” He suggests, adamant on convincing him despite fully knowing the response which comes immediately : a scowl.

 

No. Jinho shakes his head.

 

“Cmon! It'll be fun and you could discuss your thoughts on stories with others who share the same interest.”

 

‘We won't be able to communicate in first place’, he signs bitterly, and quite quickly that hwitaek found a little bit of difficulty in understanding but he does.

 

“You can write it down stop being stubborn.”

 

Jinho sighs, glaring at hwitaek momentarily before signing something that makes his friend’s laugh echo in the deserted library. And yes, the librarian did give a scolding look.

 

“You hate him _that_ much?” He wheezes, shaking his head in disbelief. Jinho nods, rolling his eyes before closing the book. “He's not all bad. Just a nerd, that Hongseok. I also heard he only joins discussions every few weeks. Too busy and stuff.”

 

‘Still…’ Jinho holds up his argument, happy he found his excuse. But hwitaek wouldn't let him go that easily, if Jinho was sneaky with his excuses then he was relentless with his suggestions.

 

\--

 

It's the dreaded day (for Jinho at least) and they're seated by the U-shaped chairs with their respective desks. Jinho forces out a stiff smile all along until he settles into a place that's safe enough for his introverted self, hwitaek doesn't talk him into otherwise, too cautious on keeping the smaller involved in this class despite his initial rejection of the whole ordeal. When the class settles down and everyone got into their chosen seats, hwitaek sneaks out of Jinho’s sight and only gets noticed when he's at the door, smiling apologetically from a distance large enough for Jinho to shake visibly. He disappears and Hongseok appears instead, specs perched on his tanned face and smug grin glowing like the blinding sun Jinho loathed very much.

 

“Let's start our first meeting then!”

  


Thirty minutes and fifty seconds, Jinho counts in silent distaste as the club president babbles nonstop in the minute area where his voice could sting his ears and fill his head dead on. Sometimes he wondered why god left his ear drums safe and stole his ability to curse out loud instead of settling with a defenseless state of scowling and glaring like a kicked kitten. But that's reality, bitter without sweet reality that he'd accustomed to long since he’d known himself. Suddenly, all eyes are on him and he panics inwardly at the unwanted attention. Hongseok’s eyes pierce through his geeky specs at his lithe form and he swallows hard, rewinding whatever conversation that took place while he spaced out endlessly. The boy on his side gives him a sympathetic look but it does nothing better to calm his anxiety. Apparently, his hands shook a little and that telltale sign gave him away, not entirely, but clearly for those near him.

 

“So?” The shit eating grin stretches on the president’s face but Jinho slaps it away with a glare.

 

He bows his head slightly, getting up like every one who'd introduced himself earlier and pointed at himself, waiting for weird looks to shoot at him, which quite frankly, he got used to by now. He jots down on his notebook that he carries everywhere and a few seconds later, the whole class is peering at the white sheet of paper held by the short clubmate.

 

‘My name is jo Jinho, a new student at Cube HighSchool. Please take care of me as I am mute and willing to share my interests in this club nonetheless. Thank you.’

 

Silence.

 

But slowly enough, smiles welcomed him. Not out of pity, like he sadly expected, ones that brightened up his mood and spoke to him in a respectful, appreciative manner. One certain boy, the one who'd given him assuring looks earlier, stretches out his hand in a friendly way. His lazy smile and droopy eyes shed off any unapproachable aura he could've held and Jinho found himself pulling it in a loose handshake. “Nice to meet you, Jinho. I'm Hyojong.”

 

Hongseok sighs from the seat in front, smiling after as he adjusted his specs and landed his notes on the table. He rounds the table and speaks then.

 

“Well, the literature club seems to have an interesting addition this year. Welcome, Jinho.”

 

\--

 

For someone who was merely a fifteen year old, Hongseok acted way older and mature to be mistaken for a shitty nerd. But Jinho slowly discovers it's just a facade that he was well aware of, smart enough to read the others’ impressions but also confident to the point of never minding it. It was how he is, and he appreciated himself well despite the snarky comments here and there. If it were Jinho he would've been drowning in self despair and endless insecurities (which he is currently though partially).

 

They exchange numbers and promise to meet every week, discussing a novel that they all agreed upon. Of Mice and Men. Jinho couldn't tell what was so special about the plot until he reached mid-way through in class while waiting for another teacher to come in and hwitaek nudged his side irritatingly. He groans inwardly.

 

“You've been nose deep since like- yesterday!”

 

Jinho doesn't budge, eyes still trained on the page he's reading.

 

“Don't make me regret suggesting the club idea, seriously.”

 

He chuckles then, flipping the page carefully as he glanced quickly at his friend’s sour face. Hwitaek rarely ever grew lonely, with Jinho constantly being a leech. Not that any of them minded, it's just somehow funny how he himself had encouraged the other to grow a bit independent then a few hours later nagged about it. As if his words were in vain and Jinho’s compliance was fruitless.

 

Placing his bookmark carefully, Curley’s wife’s hoe antics getting the best of him, he shrugs it off as the English teacher walks in, heavy cologne following his every step and wafting in the spacious classroom. It was his favorite class.

 

“About time” hwitaek spat in a loud whisper and Jinho rolled his eyes back at him. Clingy brat.

 

\--

 

The next club meeting comes by and jinho’s patience wears thin by then, excited to hear everyone’s opinions about the story he'd finished during the first three weekdays, perks to his high interest in books. Hyojong waves at him, all smiles and peaceful attitude and Jinho smiles at him warmly. New friends were scary but this boy was just fine. Hongseok arrives a bit late, notes stacked on his arms as he apologizes profusely before clapping once. “Alright! Shall we start?”

 

Five minutes through and loud remarks start filling the rather congested room. Jinho holds onto his notebook closely, eyes darting from one face to another as they spat out their contrasting opinions. George here, Candy there. Jinho merely wanted to express how proud he was of Lennie despite everything, but things weren't going the way he'd expected. Hyojong yawns, actually yawns throughout the entire session and starts playing with the strings of his untouched notebook instead. Hongseok stood between three of the members trying his hardest to speak some sense into them as they argued intensely. What was so problematic about having different thoughts on a freaking novel? He sighs.

 

“Geez… calm down this is just our first discussion.” Hongseok exhales, placing his book down, bookmarks filling every page.

 

“Well, for a starter, let's hear- or rather get to know what Jinho has to say about it. “

 

Upon having the whole club’s attention directed to him, he squeaks inwardly, shifting on his seat only to grab his notebook and hold it up slowly.

 

‘Regardless of how tragic life can get, it goes on. Friendship never dies. Dreams are immortal and free. Lennie … is .. cute.’

 

“That was brief and summarized it all. Thank you, Jinho. You've delivered it nicely unlike many.”

 

Jinho nods to the president humbly, hiding a smile as a few members exchanged quiet words of agreement. It was a civilized session after that, thankfully.

 

\--

 

Hongseok offers to watch the movie together as a club activity but none seemed interested so he dismisses the thought with a survey on which genres would the members prefer to read next. It indirectly meant a break for studies and preparation for exams though and Jinho braces himself, ignoring the fact that he'd still have to tend to the newly borrowed books from the library. He always manages to read and study simultaneously so it wasn't a problem for him. Hwitaek whines about the lack of time to him as they walk back home that day and Jinho doesn't find it in him to comfort the boy with anything less than a squeeze to the shoulder. It meant he was there, always. They shared all the pain and happiness and for that, hwitaek was glad.

 

“You're an angel.” He says, cheekily cooing at the scowl now adorning jinho’s face.

 

Brat.

 

(A nice brat)

 

\--

 

“What do you mean you finished all these?” Hwitaek gestures at the pile of novels by jinho’s study desk, pushed aside to make way for the chemistry worksheets they agreed to solve together. With a nonchalant shrug, he runs his finger down the finished books wishing somehow he'd rewind time to reread them again like they were new and held secrets for him to unveil. Hwitaek’s comical baffled face gets a soundless chuckle from him as he signs lazily.

 

‘I'm used. Took me few days.’

 

“You mean a day and a half?”

 

‘....’

 

“Jinho. I'm impressed.”

 

The latter grins, unable to hide his satisfaction at the right compliment from his friend. Hwitaek shakes his head smiling fondly at jinho’s proud grin as he plopped down on his chair to start working on some chemical formulas. Apparently both of them needed better marks at this particular subject since Jinho being the bookworm he is, excelled most at History and English, while Hwitaek was engrossed in biology aside from his occasional surprising As in Math. It served them well when they both had helped each other in these certain subjects but when it came to chemistry, none of them knew what to do and they end up staring down at the questions with blank minds and empty eyes. That's when hwitaek’s mind works a little in their favor and he remembers something useful.

 

“Hyojong is the best at chemistry! How about-”

 

He doesn't get to finish before Jinho’s shoving his phone into his hands asking him to go ahead and do his socializing for their sake. He bounces giddily on the chair, waiting for him to pick up and he does, a little later with a yawn.

 

“Really?! Thank you! Jinho and I can’t be more thankful. Yes. Tomorrow then. Bye!”

 

As obnoxious and pushy Hwitaek sometimes seemed, right now it only worked for their benefit. Jinho doesn't hate that side of his afterall. It does wonders, because sure enough, Hyojong shows up next afternoon with a kind offer to help them with their doubts.

  


Awkward isn't the right word to describe their first lesson, for the chemical genius had strived to keep them involved during his lessons no matter how disoriented they looked. Jinho was the worst out of all, well that being only him and Hwitaek because Hyojong seemed fine, shifting uncomfortably since the start of their little meet up and checking the time restlessly. Hwitaek glances a bit too many times at him, as if silently questioning his discomfort and Jinho reciprocates with half-assed smiles.

 

“So? All good?” Hyojong sets the worksheets aside after correcting them, a satisfied grin on his pale face. Jinho feels bad for not offering the equivalent of that positive grin, but tries nonetheless.

 

“Thanks, a lot. I don't know what would've happened without you..” Hwitaek muses dramatically to which their little tutor giggles at abashedly.

 

“Well, for an exchange, you could do many things.”

 

“Hmm?”

 

“Let's be friends.”

 

“Sure-” Hwitaek beams but he's interrupted immediately.

 

“-you two and me and my friends, I mean. There’s two of them so it wouldn't be a hassle. So?”

 

Jinho’s fingers curl around hwitaek’s shirt from under the table and the latter tenses visibly, smile faltering to the familiarity of the situation. Whenever the topic of new friends came into discussion, Jinho was always the first to reject the idea with all his might and knowing him, he would never agree despite having his friend by his side the whole time.

 

A moment of indecisiveness clouds his mind, followed by a firm hold on jinho’s fingers as he replied with nothing like hesitance lacing his voice.

 

“We would love to meet them.”

 

\--

 

Three days pass and Jinho still refuses to talk to Hwitaek, his friend since forever and the only human being he associates with other than his parents. He’d felt impossibly lonely despite the company of his books and the neighbor’s poodle that keeps barking at him happily every time he passed by with a treat. Jinho has no idea what his name was but he thinks ‘Hui’ fit him just good. (Not that it had anything to do with Hwitaek. Not at all)

 

Hyojong’s lesson was due a few days later and he counts the possibilities of it being cancelled. Sadly, they’re minute. When he arrives at his desk, the faint sound of laughter drills into his ears that refuse to admit how much they’ve missed the owner’s presence. It seemed to Jinho that their temporary separation only inflicted pain upon himself rather than the other who surrounds himself with friends wherever he existed. That was also one of the reasons the mute boy found him approachable; the eloquent way he delivered his feelings and the open mindedness that welcomed anyone regardless of their personality- even someone like Jinho was close to him. Someone boring, helplessly silent, moody and-

 

“Jinho?”

 

Torn away from his depressing thoughts, the boy looks up suddenly to Hongseok’s dubious face. Had it not been during his vulnerable state, he would’ve shrugged the nerd off with a bored look. However, the stinging sensation in his eyes restricted his gestures leaving him exposed to the other who didn’t seem willing enough to hug him out of pity.

 

“Wanna eat with me ?”

 

It wasn’t a question, he realizes when his hand is dragged out of class towards the rooftop. There’s a lunchbox in Hongseok’s hand big enough to fill both of their tummies and a cold air kissing their faces pleasantly. It wasn’t as bad as he assumed.

 

“I’m not going to force you into explaining anything but I also don’t mind listening to your probelms.”

 

Jinho nods slowly, kicking a small pebble on the floor as they stared up at the baby blue sky filled with dough-like clouds that resembled cotton candy. One of them looked awfully similar to a heart and he points at it right away, forgetting about anything that troubled him before that. Hongseok connects his gaze to the boy’s finger and smiles, chopsticks slipping into his mouth with rice. “That’s a lovely cloud up there.”

 

Jinho then turns his face around, ready to roll his eyes at the lame comment when the chopsticks that were once in the four-eyed’s lips met his own, this time holding an egg roll smelling just as good as his mother’s. His lips part in compliance, closing to chew and savor the taste of home made boiled eggs and seasame. Just his favorite.

 

“You’re welcome.” Hongseok chuckles, Jinho’s blissed out expression speaking louder than any compliment. It was easier to read him when Hwitaek wasn’t a step ahead every time someone tried to communicate with his friend, explaining unnecessary words and speaking on behalf of jinho like he were a child, unable to manage a simple one-to-one conversation, which was far from true. Even children had their own friends and spoke for themselves more often than Jinho did. He watches the mute boy munch away into his lunchbox, uncaring about anyone or anything, bits of rice clinging onto his chin with full cheeks and tight lips. Hongseok laughs at the sight, extending one hand to rid his face from any food and jinho slaps it away with a frown.

 

“You’re so stubborn.” Hongseok clicks his tongue, reaching out again and holding his face in place to clean it properly. The wind blows between their faces, caressing their hair, a few strands falling into Jinho’s eyes as a result. Just as he’s about to flick them away, the door to the rooftop slams open, a disgruntled Hwitaek stomping towards them with a bemused Hyojong at his tail. As much as Jinho knew the other like the back of his hand, he couldn’t tell for the life of him the reason behind his vigor, especially when he sent a menacing glare to Hongseok, who by the way seemed totally aware of the situation. Hwitaek’s fingers circled around his wrist pulling Jinho to his feet abruptly, lunchbox falling apart from his lap to the ground. Something about the action had him off, shrugging his arm away from Hwitaek’s hold that he’d yearned for after three days. Not now, not in this manner, he thought to himself as they exchanged looks, Hwitaek’s surprised face meeting his own in a heartbreaking way.

 

“We were just having lunch. I don’t know what’s wrong with you.”

 

Hwitaek’s eyes don’t leave Jinho’s when Hongseok stands up behind him, dusting off his pants nonchalantly. “Why’s it so hard to have lunch with us when you’re clearly doing just fine with him?”

 

Hyojong walks away, clearly not adamant on intruding yet Hongseok’s feet remain rooted behind Jinho’s. As if serving as a backup when the only person whom Jinho trusted with his life was in fact, Hwitaek.  It was clear as the sun, everybody knew they were inseparable. Hongseok was stepping into unknown grounds by assuming he would, for once, get in between them in the form of a hero that Jinho hasn’t acknowledged yet.

 

Whether his motives were good or not, Hongseok still irked Hwitaek with his presence alone. Funny how tables turned when back then, Jinho was the one repulsive about him.

 

“He obviously likes-“

 

“Why’re you still here? Jinho and I clearly need to talk things out so you may leave.”

 

Hongseok opens his mouth to retort but Jinho turns around, mouthing ‘thank you for lunch’ before turning back to Hwitaek who raises an eyebrow towards Hongseok waiting for him to get the message. With a sigh, he collects his lunchbox and leaves, closing the door not before mumbling softly that break was over and they had to attend class. None of them heed to his words nor care to run down the stairs in a hurry.

 

“Tell me then, why don’t you want to sit with us?”

 

Jinho winces at the use of pronouns, chewing at his lips anxiously before Hwitaek corrects himself. “Why don’t you want to sit with me, and them?”

 

‘I’m afraid..’ he starts, one hand coming up to tug at his hair that fell to his face with every blow of wind coming in their direction. ‘..you seemed really happy and entertained in their presence and I know I wouldn’t enjoy it as much. I didn’t want to stop them, or you, from getting along.’

 

“When did you ever care about my socializing skills, Jinho, you’re ridiculous! With or without you, I’d have plenty of friends but that doesn’t change the fact that you’re my best friend. Do you understand that?”

 

Jinho wants to say he knows that very well, hell, he’s happy it’s not the case. Rather than worrying about his friend’s circle of friends, he’s more selfish to want him only for himself.It’s one of the reasons he believes hwitaek didn’t deserve him since the latter sacrificed his time and efforts for him willingly while he, blinded by his own insecurities, craved his undivided attention despite having it most of the time. He wanted more, and it was wrong in all aspects. Why do feelings have to tire his heart this much?

 

After a few seconds Hwitaek’s hand holds his own, pulling him slightly closer to inspect his unreadable expression. Pain, regret, fear, longing- it was all in the little frown and watery eyes that he cherished the most. “Are you afraid I’d leave you? I told you that day, when we were little ones that I wouldn’t do that.”

 

Jinho shakes his head, tired of Hwitaek’s profound kindness that burdened him. “Jealous?”

 

When he looked away, Hwitaek arms took him into his embrace tightly, nuzzling into his hair with a broad grin different from the ones he gave on a daily basis. They hug closely, Jinho’s fingers grabbing at Hwitaek’s shirt and silently wishing he forgave him for everything he’s done. There was absolutely no reason for anyone to hate on his friend, for he was everything peaceful and good, nothing like the excuse of a friend that Jinho is. Or so he thought.

 

“I’m not gonna lie, I like it. But don’t leave me again, because I can’t take it.”

 

Jinho shoves his face deeper into Hwitaek’s shoulder, twisting in shyness as his cheeks reddened. He suddenly pulls back to observe Hwitaek’s similarly flustered state only to tease him about his little act of possessiveness from a few minutes ago. “Okay, we’re equal I guess.” He rolls his eyes playfully when Jinho’s playful grin stretches on his face. The sight, coupled with the faint hues of pink dusting his face and ears proved how precious Jinho was to him. It was only natural to care this much, and hurt this much for him. It was worth it.

 

 


End file.
